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I wake up to the heat of someone's palm against my should .Twisting around my hand moves faster then my brain, and I snatch it off me :Jesse it me ,Bell" she rushes out before I can take it any further ."Fuck" I released my grip on her arm and sit up, forcing myself back to the here and now. "Did I hurt you?" I reached for her searching for any signs of a mark left by me. "It's fine, you barely touched me," She holds her arm out letting me inspect it, I check it over one more time before releasing her and relaxing ."You wanna talk about it?" I study her face , eye claim, soft mouth, she's not freaked out . Just some shit that visits my dreams sometimes, nothing that needs to touch you" I reply, shocked I'm no retreating .I don't mind ,Jesse " she pushes, and I almost cave .Almost. " The last thing I want to do is talk about this shit, Bell" She doesn't ask me argue or press, and I' m grateful for it. I don't think I'd be able to keep my cool if she did. "Come back to sleep" she lies back down and I followed her. She doesn't ask me any more questions, or make me feel like I need to tell her everything. That ever happens again. don't wake me '. I warn .A menacing thought strikes through me picturing what would have happened if I didn't wake in time. She's lucky I didn't hurt her, like the last time a woman touched me while I had a nightmare. "You don't always have to be brave ,Jesse" Her hand moves to my dog tags I don't stop her . I'm starting to like the feeling of her touching them . :Never tried to be ,Bell .But talking doesn't help me. Never has : I think back to time when I did try , and it forced me out of control. Talking about those triggers only amplified my insecurities. When death sits afar, mocking you in the dangerous confines of your surroundings it fucks with your head ,nothing was going to change it . Besides, my issues weren't what I had done. They were what I had survived. My conscience wasn't clear and my honor wasn't clear. : Promise me you won't touch me" I keep my tone ever, controlled." I promise "I take her hand in mine and bring to my lips .Maybe one day I will let someone in, let her in .Today isn't that day. But today , I didn't push her away . That has to count for somethingAmazon US-http://amzn.to/1LipZYq AmazonUK- http://amzn.to/1QKmxdq Amazon AU-http://bit.ly/1LludPM Amazon-http://amzn.to/1K9PvQj B+N- http://bit.ly/1FqPGW2 Kobo-http://bit.ly/1KPYqdb ITunes _http//apple.co/1RaoErc
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